*if i could i would shrink myself seep thru your skin to your blood cells, remove whatever makes you hurt but i am to weak to be your cure....*

ok so to recap my life for the past....uhm basically month. Its been hell. There was a time when i really liked someone, and something happened. Now im a lair, but whatever. The result from that is a i lost a good friend of mine and i know ill never get him back, but im not shure if that bothers me so much yet. I could make my entire entry about him and how much he hurt me and how im still hurting, but im not going to do that because my friends hear about it all day long. SoOo, the good things...Hmm lets see....well i figured out if you laugh at something that hurts you it makes you feel better. So ive been laughing alot lately lol.

Work is starting soon. YESS! that means summer!!! yesss! summer means boys! woo hOo! i cant wait, this summer will be great!im working in love ladies , checking again with kerry amy bob cox the age's erin vinnie....yup yup lots of fun it will be! I just want this summer to be the summer that i will never forget because next year ill be a senior and everything starts to change then . And its a shame that you start talking to people when they are leaving in two months for schoool. well thats it for now...hopefully ill be updating every once in awhile.

*drowning myself is a game i play...i drown myself away*

i hate the way you say my
name like its something secret

i wish that i was as invisible
as you make me feel.

oh i want to hate you
half as much as i hate myself

dear everyone,

im tired of this. There has been to much death for me to handle. In the past month we lost three awesome people who will be deeply missed and in the last almost 3 years, 7 people. Thats 7 people not with us anymore.  I just dont understand how something could be so bad to take your own life, there are always people to talk to. I cant even say anything good has happened in my life because it hasnt....</3

RIP ...mazz. jay. mike. robbie. dipisa. ryan. Neiderer

i love you all. I'm always here for you.